


broken cobblestones

by berrywarbler



Series: this love will be for evermore [2]
Category: Glee
Genre: Happy Ending, Light Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 08:40:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186442
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/berrywarbler/pseuds/berrywarbler
Summary: "i'm only 17. i don't know anything but i know i miss you."
Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Sebastian Smythe
Series: this love will be for evermore [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2142834
Comments: 3
Kudos: 31





	broken cobblestones

It’s a chilly autumn evening in September when Sebastian sees Blaine for the first time since that night in the parking lot of Dalton Academy. The night he ruined everything. 

He hasn’t spoken to Blaine since that night either. He’s tried many times to sit down and write him a letter, send him a text, an email, a Facebook message. He couldn’t bring himself to do it; it all felt too wrong. Blaine deserves more than a Snapchat of his dark room with an “I’m sorry” caption. Blaine isn’t just some guy. 

Blaine is  _ everything. _

He’d done a terrible job at showing it and it continued over the three months he was away from Ohio, convinced that Blaine didn’t want to hear from him ever again.

When he left, he had waited for Blaine at the train station-- checking his phone obsessively every single minute for any indication that Blaine would show up. Sebastian had known in his gut that Blaine would come to him-- try to stop him from leaving. He knew Blaine and he just  _ knew _ he would show up. As the minutes ticked by faster and faster, Sebastian’s stomach twisted itself tighter and tighter as his confidence began to falter. He’d really screwed up the best thing he’d ever known. 

Blaine wasn’t coming. 

He waited by the doors of the train; he scanned the sea of people bustling through the station, waiting until the very last second before he got on the train. He watched out the window after taking his seat, hoping and even praying that Blaine would show up and he could have some sign that they would be okay. 

Nothing. 

No Blaine, no sign. 

_ Nothing. _

He looked away at the last moment as the train pulled away from the station.

Sebastian spent the entire train ride slumped over in his seat with his eyes glued to the floor, replaying the night of the dance over in his head. He didn’t want to go; he was only going because it meant something to Blaine that they make their official debut as a couple. None of that mattered to Sebastian; he didn’t care about anyone else or making an appearance or putting their relationship out there to be scrutinized by a bunch of preppy boys who didn’t even know him. He just wasn’t interested. Admittedly, he selfishly dragged his feet as he got ready for that evening. 

He was on his way in when a familiar voice called for him, catching him off-guard. 

Hunter was a friend from his hometown; he was someone that would come in and out of Sebastian’s life when one of them was lonely, they’d keep each other warm and then go off onto the next thing. He foolishly stopped to talk to Hunter and before he knew it, they were kissing against one of Dalton’s exterior walls and Hunter was enticing him to go back to his car for a quick few moments. 

It took only a brief moment before Sebastian’s head cleared and he pushed Hunter away.  “I can’t, I’m sorry.”

“What? You got someone on the side now?” Hunter joked before noting the look on Sebastian’s face. “Don’t tell me, you’ve got one of these preppy boys in your bed?” He laughed, patting his friend on the shoulder. “Nice going, Seb. Let me know when that falls through.” Hunter adjusted his shirt as he pulled back from Sebastian, an eyebrow quirking as he looked curious. “You think that one of these preppy boys can really keep up with you?”

Sebastian breathed out a soft laugh. “I don’t know, he’s pretty good at it.”

“I dunno, Seb, boys like that don’t tend to like boys like us; we’re not good enough for them.” Hunter shrugged, unbothered. “Ah well, I gotta get going anyway. The ‘rents and I are going home tomorrow.” 

_ Not good enough. _

Hunter may not have been bothered by his words but that was something that Sebastian always struggled with: Not being good enough. Not being good enough for his family, for his friends, for love interests. He wasn’t the type that people thought of when they thought of fairytales and settling down. His stomach twisted a little bit as he watched Hunter walk away, sighing heavily to himself. He looked towards the Dalton gym as he chewed the inside of his cheek. Going in there was the last thing he wanted to do, but it meant so much to Blaine. 

He was incredibly late and he halfway expected Blaine to be upset with him, but he hoped that just showing up would make it better. When he stepped foot inside the gym, he looked over the crowd for his favorite familiar face. When his eyes landed on the back of Blaine’s head, he noticed he was dancing with the new kid. A flare of jealousy flitted through the back of his mind as he recognized the look on the other guy’s face-- he was definitely flirting with Blaine. 

_ His  _ Blaine.

“There you are!” 

Sebastian tensed as Nick’s grating voice invaded his ears, the feeling of his hand coming down on his shoulder almost made him feel violent. “Blaine’s been so worried about you.”

“Yeah, he looks  _ real  _ worried.” Sebastian grumbled, shrugging off Nick’s hand, his eyes not leaving the dancing couple, noting Blaine’s laugh when his face finally came into view. 

Taking a drink of his punch, Nick looked at Kurt and Blaine and shrugged his shoulders. “Eh, he was, then Kurt asked him to dance and he seems to be feeling a bit better.” 

Between Hunter’s words and the sight of Blaine dancing with Kurt, Sebastian’s insecurities began to consume him at a more rapid pace. “What’s so great about that new kid anyway? What’s he got that I don’t have?”

“Well, he’s  _ nice, _ first of all. He doesn’t have a bad reputation of being a dick, sleeping around, being a troublemaker--”

“God, shut up!” Sebastian looked at Nick with a furrowed brow. “Why do you care so much anyway? You don’t even know me.”

“I know enough, and I care because Blaine is my friend and I don’t want him getting hurt,” Nick said, his stance only slightly wavering. “He’s a really good guy, and he deserves a good guy. Kurt seems like a good guy and he likes Blaine.” 

Nick’s words settled in Sebastian’s head as he watched his boyfriend dancing with Kurt. 

_ Not good enough. _

_ He deserves better. _

Nick was right; he was literally just outside kissing someone else while Blaine was waiting on him. He knew if he looked at his phone he’d see missed calls and texts from a worried Blaine. 

Blaine smiled at Kurt. Sebastian could see the blush on his cheek from across the room-- that’s what Blaine deserved. 

“Whatever. Let Kurt have him, then.” Sebastian muttered as he turned to leave the gym. 

His heart was pounding in his chest as the words echoed through his head. He knew he wasn’t good enough for Blaine, he wasn’t relationship material and all Blaine wanted was a safe place to settle after having been through almost every guy in Lima and Westerville. He thought he could be that for him but he just couldn’t do it. The feelings he had for Blaine felt like they were trying their damndest to claw their way out from under his skin.

Sebastian used the sleeve of his jacket to wipe any threatening tears away as no one stopped him from leaving the dance, thankfully Blaine hadn’t seen him. It was better that way. Blaine was better off with someone like the new kid-- a preppy housewife that could be his safe place. He could never truly be what Blaine needed. He pulled his phone from his pocket and called Hunter. “Hey, meet me at our spot.”

He needed to wash the taste of Blaine out of his mouth.

It wasn’t until it was already too late that he realized that wasn’t possible; Blaine was already too deep  _ in  _ his skin for him to ever crawl out. All he could feel when Hunter’s hands were on him was Blaine-- nothing compared to Blaine’s touch. He was practically naked in the backseat of Hunter’s car with the other’s mouth all over him and he didn’t feel good about it at all. He felt apathetic at most towards having any kind intimacy with anyone but Blaine. 

When Hunter was driving away, Sebastian felt lower than he’d felt in his life and all he could think about was Blaine.  _ Blaine, Blaine, Blaine.  _ Did he really care if he wasn’t good enough for Blaine? He couldn’t let their relationship end this way; he had to fix it immediately. He had to see Blaine. He needed to apologize; make it right.

Sebastian was relieved to see Blaine hadn’t left when he reached the parking lot, screeching to a halt. He could feel the panic slowly rising from his toes to the top of his head as he and Blaine went back and forth in the parking lot. All he could focus on were the images swirling in his head of him and Blaine happy, Blaine and Kurt dancing, him and Hunter just ten minutes ago in Hunter’s back seat. The panic caused his heart to beat rapidly in his chest as the realization truly hit him for the first time: He’s lost Blaine for good. With this mistake, there was no way that Blaine would ever forgive him.

“I know, I’m sorry. I… Fuck, Blaine, I really fucked this up.” Tears started to well up in Sebastian’s eyes as he looked at Blaine, he could feel him slipping away by the second. 

“Stop saying sorry.” Blaine wiped hastily at his face, narrowing his eyes at Sebastian and Sebastian could practically see the thought run through Blaine’s head. “Wait, what did you fuck up?” he asked, shaking his head. “Did… Did you?” 

What’s left of Sebastian’s heart fell into his stomach. His body was hot and yet somehow there were still chills rising as he struggled to find any words. Not one single word would make this better. “Blaine--” was all he could say. The look that washed over Blaine’s face-- the way his body fell in utter heartbreak-- almost made Sebastian fall to his knees. 

He tried. He tried so hard to keep Blaine from leaving, to hurry and pick up the broken pieces of the mess he’d just made but it was no use. 

Blaine was gone. 

He stood there in the parking lot of Dalton Academy until the dance was over and his classmates started filing out of the gym. He didn’t remember driving home, but he sat in his car in the driveway until the sun started to light the sky the next morning. 

* * *

That night replays in his mind on a constant loop even as the summer fades into fall and he’s right back on the train bac k to Ohio. He can still hear the words that Blaine uttered that night like a ringing in his ears.

_ “Don’t touch me.” _

The only thing that has been able to drown it out has been the sound of Hunter groaning in his ear as they spent a couple of those long summer nights together in his bed- and the minute they stopped, he could hear Blaine’s voice again.  Every single night-- even when he was in bed next to Hunter-- all he has been able to think about is Blaine and how much he wants him back and how he’ll do anything to get him back. With every day that passed, Sebastian became more and more determined that he was going back to Westerville in the fall and he was going to do absolutely everything in his power to get him back.

He can’t stop thinking about Blaine's reaction and what it might be when they see each other again. Would he be happy? Would he be angry? Would that look of complete and utter heartbreak still be etched into his beautiful face? He’s responsible for breaking Blaine and he’ll have that blood on his hands for the rest of his life, but he’d tell anyone that he’s willing to spend the rest of his days trying to make it up to him. Sebastian’s never cared this much for someone; he’s never been unable to shake someone from his system. If he were one to believe in soulmates, he would tell you Blaine might be his.

As his train pulls into the station, he’s running through different scenarios in his head about how their next meeting will go. He barely hears his mother’s hello when he gets into her car, only offering grunts of acknowledgement when necessary as she asks him about his summer back home. All he can think of is Blaine and his plan he’s been dreaming up for the past few weeks. Sebastian’s dream is when Blaine sees him again, he falls into his arms and he’s given the chance and the time to make it up to him, but he knows it most likely won’t be so easy. 

He’s heard through the grapevine that Blaine is having a party at his house for one of the Warbler’s birthdays. He’s planning to show up at the party since he knows there is a one hundred percent chance of Blaine being there and he’s going to give Blaine the speech he’s prepared. He had absolutely no idea what he’s doing but he knows that he has to get Blaine back no matter the cost. 

* * *

As Sebastian stands on Blaine’s doorstep, he can hear the ongoing party behind the door. He hears Blaine’s laugh and his heart starts to beat faster.  _ This is it _ , this is the moment he’s been waiting for all summer. There was no turning back. Taking a final deep breath, Sebastian rings the doorbell. 

When the door opens, Blaine is on the other side and it’s like everyone behind him disappears and it’s only the two of them standing there alone. 

“Seb…” Blaine says almost breathlessly. It takes him a moment before he shakes his head and glances behind him at the ongoing party.

Knowing that it was likely Blaine will just close the door on him, he puts a hand up. “Wait, please, let me just…” Sebastian feels the same frantic feeling from the night of the dance flitting about his insides-- like he had only seconds before everything was gone. “I just need to talk to you, I need you to hear me out.” He feels the stinging of tears behind his eyes.

“I-I don’t know…” 

“Please, Blaine, I’m sorry. God, I am so fucking sorry. I made such a horrible, horrible mistake and I haven’t thought of anything but you this entire summer.”

Blaine frowns at that statement, letting out a bitter chuckle as he crosses his arms over his torso loosely. “I heard a rumor that you pretty much shacked up with your  _ friend  _ Hunter the whole summer…” 

Sebastian swallows, shaking his head. “I stayed with him a few nights because I hated being alone and because I didn’t think I deserved you-- which, I don’t-- but I can’t get you out of my head. Every single day and night all I have been able to think of is you. Even when I was with him all I could dream about was you. Us.” 

A soft breath is taken as Blaine listens to Sebastian’s speech, his expression unreadable for the most part which only makes Sebastian more nervous.    


“Listen, I’m an idiot, I did something so stupid and only continued being stupid through the summer. I don’t know anything about life, about love, about being with someone like you-- you’re such a good person, Blaine. I don’t know what the future holds; we’re only seventeen. I just know that I… I miss you and I need you. The only thing that I want to do is make it up to you and I’ll spend however much time you need to--” 

“Okay, okay,” Blaine stops Sebatstian’s rambling, shaking his head as he takes a step onto the porch.  The closeness makes Sebastian’s throat dry. “I miss you so much. I’m so fucking sorry.” His words are soft and only meant for Blaine’s ears.

“I’ve missed you, too.” Blaine says honestly with tears in his eyes. “Seeing you… it’s like this sigh of relief-- like I’ve been holding my breath for months.” He places his hands on Sebstian’s chest, right over his thumping heart. “You wanna make it up to me?” Blaine asks, looking up to meet the taller’s eyes.

“More than anything. Just… give me a chance. Please.” 

“You could start by kissing it better.” Blaine’s words are soft and meant for Sebastian’s ears alone-- words that meant something to them. 

Sebastian lets out a breath he doesn’t realize he’s even holding before he wraps his arms tightly around Blaine, melting into him effortlessly as he captures his lips in a kiss. Their lips somehow fit together better each time they kiss, as if they are made for one another and no one else. Bringing one hand up to cup Blaine’s cheek, Sebastian brushes his thumb over his soft skin. 

The feeling of Blaine in his arms, his fingers digging into the soft material of his cardigan, the taste of him, the way he smells- it’s all so overwhelming and he feels like he is home. 

Blaine feels like home.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
